Life is an awful lot like a bike ride through deadly fast rush hour traffic. Exciting, full of surprises, and every once in a while you get hit by a car.
Right now I feel like a truck just ran into me out and I am laying on my back staring at the sky thinking “how did I get here” and “why does it hurt so bad.” Something is seriously wrong with my insides, and I think I might have just figured it out. I have surplus organs.
The first on my list of extra’s would have to be the heart. I know some people are all attached to theirs, but mine seems to have become pretty useless. When you give little parts of it away, do they come back when those people are done with them, or are you left with an ever shrinking piece of real estate ever more scarred and useless.
At this point I am thinking a metal heart, one that is strong, uncaring and impenetrable might be the best option for me. Chrome up the insides, full robot.
The second on my list of “must go” items would have to be the brain. Again, people put a lot of stock in these lumpy gray chunks of neurons and chemicals but personally I think mine might be a hazard. It floods my senses with ideas that are not only dangerous but stupid. It is not thinking about the rest of my bodies best interest, and it refuses to let me go to sleep at night. The damn thing has completely revolted.
Loneliness, sadness, despondency, what the fuck brain, what did I ever do to you! My only solution, the brain has to go…get me an old computer and jam it in there instead. Something mindless, something digital, something uncaring and dead. Flat line the meter, remove the emotions, just turn it off.
I figure the new me will be stronger, faster, less interesting, less prone to love, and caring, and therefor more able to cope with this world. Clearly the old model was a dud, here’s looking forward to me 2.0.